


The worst of them all

by Kraffslol



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Confessions, F/M, Guilt, Letter, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-06 02:44:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10323809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kraffslol/pseuds/Kraffslol
Summary: Doctor feels more guilt then ever. Sending a letter to the three Ponds he escapes to the deep space to try and cope with his guild. Want to know what was in the letter? Read and find out. :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic.Please alert me if there are mistakes. I hope you like it. Enjoy! :)

"Hello my dear.

You do not know my real form, but I know you perfectly and that is why I can't stay around. It's too dangerous. I may not show you my real nature, but I can tell you. I am one of the three demons that were assigned to your race at the beginning. You see, some people in this universe are destined for greatness, destined to live happy, fulfilling lives. You, I'm afraid, are not one of those, and it's our job to make sure of that. Who we are? Oh yes, how rude of us. Allow me to introduce ourselves.

Shame is my younger brother, the demon behind your left shouder. Shame tells you that you're a freak, that those you have are not normal, that you will never fit in. Shame whispered into your ear when your mother found you plaing with yourself as a child. Shame is the one that makes you hate yourself.

Fear stands behind your right shouder. He is my older brother, he is as old as life itself. Fear filles every dark corner with monsters, turns every stranger on a dark street into a murderer. Fear stops you from telling your crush how you feel. He tells you it is better not to try than let people see you fail. Fear makes you build your own prison.

Who am I then? I am the worst of your demons, but you see me as a friend, as the last hope. You turn to me when you have nothing else because a part of me lives in your heart. I am the one who forces you to endure. The one who prologs your torment. After all, time is said to be cruel.

Sincerely,  
the Doctor."

River put down the letter as she finished reading. There was a long silence until River looked up to the crying Ponds. She herself tried to ignore the tears roling down her cheaks.  
"We need to f-f...find him right NOW!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start reading, it's a short chapter, I know, but I promise it will be more exciting story with every single chapter and now, please enjoy. */theater-curtains-open/*

After few moments of crying, River suddenly stood up, looking into the distance with fierce look on her face.

 

 

 

 

> "He's here."
> 
> "Who's here?" Amy asked curiously.
> 
> "Oh, I'm so cuffing him in the livingroom, prepare him a chair."

She took out a pair of cuffs and loaded her gun which was enough of hints for them to figure out what's happening and who is the unfortunate one to face Rivers anger.

* * *

 30 minutes of shooting and shouting later

* * *

 The Ponds were watching TV in the living room when the noise finaly stopped. They at least preapred comfortable armchairs for them bought. They could hear the front door being open as the sound of sirens was comming closer.

 

 

> "If it's not important, just tell me"
> 
> "I already told you, spoilers."
> 
> "OK. Allright. I can work with that............ Why did you slap me before?"
> 
> "You'll know."
> 
> "Why where you crying?"

There was a short silence which was follwed by a loud slap and Doctor's complaining about River's right hook, which she wasn'ţ happy about.

 

 

> "Livingroom, NOW!"
> 
> "River, wha..."

River stepped into the living room, dragging the Doctor behind her with his hands cuffed behind his back. She threw him onto the armchair. The Doctor closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. River sat onto the other armchair, on the opposit side of the sopha which the Ponds were sitting on. The Doctor risked a look at River, then at the Ponds before closing his eyes and he sighned. Yes, he knew River was upset and from the looks of it, so were the Ponds, but ceeping something so upsetting from him seemed just unfair. River actualy CRYED when she slapped him on the street. Well, he couldn't have been the cause of it all......... could he? The only way to find out is, obviously, to ask, but wouldn't it just cause more pain? Then again, better shure then sorry. The Doctor slowly looked up once again.

 

 

> "River..."
> 
> "Zipp it!"
> 
> "River, I..."
> 
> "Shut up!"
> 
> "River, plea..."
> 
> "I SAID SHUT UP!"

Without thinking, the Doctor sprang up as River's leaned a bit forward  and covered her face with her hands, as if trying not to cry. The Doctor sat on the carpet next to her. Once again, he showed the world how big of a old fool is he. Of course the questioning would hurt her! When did he became os insensable. The Doctor kissed bough river's hands, before lying his head on her legs.

 

 

> "Please, forgive me." the Doctor whispered carefuly. He closed his eyes and waited.
> 
> "I'll prepare some tea for us, and Rory?" Rory turned his head with a hopeful exrpression at Amy, who emedietly poped his buble of hope. "Please find something interesting on the TV." Amy yelled the last part from the kitchen.
> 
> "So," Rory broke the awkward silence,"what would you like to watch?"

The Doctor could feel River move and there was no responce for a moment. He couldn't help but to flitch a bit when she suddenly started to slowly, almost passionatly, stroke his hair. 

 

> "I don't care. Choose what you whant, daddy dear." River said with a smug on fer face, when the Doctor suddenly reached into her mind with fear and worry in his wake.
> 
> 'Save him!'
> 
> 'What?'
> 
> 'Stop him from reaching BBC!'


End file.
